


wonder

by jjjjxce



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Hinata Hajime, Crying, Depression, F/M, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inspired by a Shawn Mendes Song, Komaeda Nagito-centric, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mental Breakdown, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Self-Harm, Song Lyrics, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love, he is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjjjxce/pseuds/jjjjxce
Summary: shawn mendes - wonder“i wonder what it’s like to be loved by you”nagito grieves the loss of a living person.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	wonder

**Author's Note:**

> for some context, a few of them live outside of the dorms. ALSO this is a vent, and hasn’t been beta’d or edited at all. please do not criticize my vent works.

hajime was so beautiful. he was the epitome of beauty, a rose in a bush full of thorns. he was absolutely amazing, nobody could ever hope to compare.

nagito could only watch from afar as he talked to nanami, laughing and smiling, perfect as always. the white haired boy was nothing next to him. nothing but the scum of the earth, standing close to a god. it was simply a blessing that nagito could even look at him, let alone speak to him.

the hours nagito had spent, sobbing in his room, were high in numbers. breakdowns often occurred after a hajime-related incident. the last one had been due to the announcement the shorter boy had made, early on in the day. he had stated that he and nanami were together, a couple. they were a gorgeous pair, nagito couldn’t deny it. he congratulated them, even though his insides felt as though they were being ground up into mush. his heart was in his throat the rest of the day, and he had only had a few minutes to himself after class to cry, before his classmates forced him from his room to this party.

the white haired boy was now standing by the counter, solo cup in hand, arms freshly bandaged and heart freshly broken. why had hajime chosen her? the thought left as quickly as it came, nagito’s mind supplying him with plenty of answers. his thoughts raced, ‘you’re garbage’ and ‘disgusting, vile creature’ bouncing around through his brain. he smiled anyways, lifting the cup up to his lips.

he probably shouldn’t be drinking, he realized, but he was already on his third cup and he wasn’t planning on stopping. so what if he had lost a bit of blood before coming? it would be fine! that’s what nagito told himself, finishing off the glass and moving over to the drinks to pour something a bit stronger.

“hey, komaeda,” a voice started from behind the lanky boy, startling him out of his dark thoughts. nanami was standing there, looking up at him politely. the taller smiled softly, a forced thing, and returned the greeting. the pair continued to converse for a bit, nagito making his drink and nanami watching.

“so, you and hajime, huh?” nagito really didn’t know why he was saying this. it wasn’t going to do him any good to be jealous, and although trash like him barely deserved to have friends, it would be awful to push them away. hurting them would be the worst punishment to him.

nanami gave a small smile, and wow she was cute. she really did fit well with hajime, all blunt and confident in the strangest of ways. she was talking to him, the white haired boy noticed, but he continued to simply zone out, observing her closely.

“and he’s very kind! but... i didn’t come over to... talk about hajime. i wanted to ask how you’re doing...” nanami’s question surprised nagito. she wanted to know how such an awful human like himself was doing? it seemed like a trap, yet nagito was on his fourth drink and at this point he didn’t really care.

“ah! i’m just fine, nanami-san. no need to worry about trash like me!” he replied, in typical nagito fashion. nanami just frowned, but instead of reprimanding him for calling himself names, she just gave him a gentle side hug. nanami was too good of a friend to him, nagito thought. she was truly too angelic to be near a demon like himself.

nanami eventually walked off, presumably back to hajime, and nagito stumbled off upstairs. he wandered the halls, attempting to find an empty bedroom in this large house. he did find one, soon enough, and he quietly walked in.

there was a balcony, and nagito began to feel quite hot. he walked over, a small frown on his face, and opened the door. he stood out, leaning on the railing, longing and sadness filling his brain. heartbreak, grief at losing hajime’s heart, it all hit him at once.

nagito sobbed. he sobbed like he had never sobbed before, harsh cries leaving his throat as he slid down the railing, sitting with his back against it. he grasped at his arms, shaking hard, almost tearing through the bandages there. he didn’t wish to disturb anyone but really, he didn’t have it in him to care. he was so worthless, so disgusting, so horrible vile garbage horrible horrible horrible horrible-

his thoughts were cut off by a hand on his shoulder. of course, someone had heard him. and of course, his luck would decide to leave him, because the person sat in front of him was hajime. he looked angelic, hair slightly tousle, worried eyes covered faintly by long brown lashes. nagito wished he could kiss him.

“-gito? nagito please...” hajime sounded distraught. the taller of the two didn’t like that. he didn’t want to worry the one person who he loved the most. he wanted to stop crying. he HAD to stop crying. 

he couldn’t. the tears kept pouring, and nagito barely managed to cough out an ‘i’m fine’ before hajime embraced him. he knew it was an attempt to make him feel better, but it only served to make him feel worse. the brunet shouldn’t be here, with him. he should be with his friends, with nanami and ibuki, having fun. he shouldn’t be comforting such garbage.

“h- hajime please-“ nagito was slowly starting to calm down, the reassuring presence of hajime managing to overcome his awful thoughts for now. the shorter gently let go of him, instead opting to sit beside nagito. the latter almost blushed, but he was far too gone from his sobbing that he simply didn’t have it in him.

hajime asked him to explain why he was crying. nagito laughed. he was so tired, so so tired. he refused to answer, though, not wishing to burden hajime anymore. the boy argued back, but for once, nagito refused. the persistence hajime had was amazing, but the lanky male couldn’t let him stress any longer.

the excuse he came up with was bullshit. anyone could tell, but tipsy and frustrated, hajime accepted it. nagito thanked his luck, before graciously listening to the advice hajime gave him on his fake issue. it took awhile, but eventually, the brunet left.

late into the night, nagito stumbled into a room, ready to sleep. he found hajime there, alone and fast asleep, and in his alcohol riddled brain, decided that it would be best to just sleep here. hajime stirred, and nagito giggled lightly. the boy, still half asleep, asked nagito what had really been wrong. the tall boy answered honestly, too tired and drunk to care. hajime listened, and then stayed silent, offering no advice.

“what are you thinking about, nagito?” hajime slurred. he was practically asleep once more, and nagito took a moment to realize what he had said. the soft breathing of his companion filled the air, and, somehow without hesitation, nagito responded.

“i wonder what it’s liked to be loved by you.”

**Author's Note:**

> what a train wreck bro


End file.
